Beneath my mind

This community had been polluted and become uglier as time goes on.

Why it had to be misunderstood the concept?

It is suppose to be a normal thing, just that with some extraordinary features.

Not only me having this kind of thought, I'm happy that I found someone who shared the same thought.

I just love her so much and I totally salute her.

Everyone are naturally born to be a bisexual. There always has the probability for LGBT to occur. It will slowly be reveal as we grow. What been gone through, what been experienced, all of this form a "today" me. Nothing is big deal about it, and it should not be look differently. It's the problem that everyone "assume" that relationship between guy and girl is normal. Actually there is nothing wrong with some what they called "special" relationship.

Besides, thanks to a special one that shaped my perception and definition towards relationship.
Although it's not fully mine, but it's meaningful to me.

Life will never complete and perfect without a mate that willing to walk along with us. Obviously it is unreality in this real world as the society is changes to a "new level". Love can assume to be "debtor and creditor", and it should be flexible. It is not suppose to be one side lending then another side just receiving and owing at all time. Don't be a debtor at all time, sometime should turn be a creditor too. Thus, it will be balance and last long as long "convertible and reversible" take place. The one should able go through the "recession" with the another one throughout the cycle. And, always remember the moment when having "expansion". Never blame of the factors that caused all of this, it just happened by its nature. If both are strong enough to go through all the test, a bright path will reveal.

Everyone is waiting the right time for the right one.
It is the matter that how we appreciate the chance and grab the timing.
I admitted that I had acted too fast and there is no way to turn back.
I shall grab it tight, follow the flow and steam.
At least I will not regret no matter what outcome will be, because I TRIED.

Still, it seems like I inflicted your poison and you are the only cure.
I want to be your whole-life creditor so that I can use my remaining life to repay the debts that I owed you.
"Welcome you to my world of truth, I don't wanna hide any part of me from you."
May the luck with me.

平凡中的不一样

不知为何

虽然短暂

你的影响却是那么重大

之前没好好去认识你

但是今天的对话

开窍了我

也让我勇于踏出那团谜

谜

我挣扎了多时

还不断欺骗自己的内心

和他人的诚恳

加上至今的零纪录

减掉多次的欺骗

乘上屡次的失败

除掉前所未有的零经验

何时

才能等到你的出现？

我也不知何时

开始厌倦了等待

这复杂的心情

谁来谅解？

或许自己的挑剔

或许过于的要求

或许……

或许……

如今

那朦胧的面纱

终于揭下了

慢慢地了解自己

也尝试去了解他人

也许是暂时最好的药方

我

选择了这条路

介入了这个另类的世界

曾尝试改变

还是失败了

现在

我不会退缩

我也不后悔

这是

因为我就是

来自那个世界的人

A Sudden Thought

When I shot this photo, I suddenly feel so sad and unwilling. After two more months, it will be the 4th year yet the final year for me in my tertiary life in Kampar. I never know that time can be passed so fast, it just a blink of eyes! TICK TOCK TICK TOCK~~

It feels like I just joined UTAR yesterday. Everything it just so close and the memory was so clear! I understand. No matter how fast or slow the time ticks, every moments are moving forward and never turn back. Even it can, it just the photos that flashing back our memory.

In future when T=1,2,3...., I'm going to start my FYP and Internship. And soon, I'm going to wear the "square" hat and step into the society. I'm worry that I'm not able to cope with it and end up messed up my life. As I never have experience in this reality society. Besides, I'm sure will miss all my friends, especially Foundation TD3 and whole FE fellas.

Now T=0, I'm still have 4 more assignments to go. Then continued by 5 Final Exam papers. I hope I'm able to do it and get great result to boost my CGPA.

Under the same sky at the same place, but the person we meet will never be the same. New life comes with cheer and happiness (Expansion to peak), old life goes with sorrow and sadness (Recession to trough). This is what we called the cycle of the society.

We always recover and worsen off repeatedly. In overall, we are all improving on average. Do not let any F*CKER sneak in and speculate our routine. Life with own STYLE, that's the ESSENTIAL!

HKJ 20120331 0013

Noah's Ark

Today I skipped PoMi Tutorial, BAcc replacement Lecture and IS Lecture due to laziness and sleep too "early". Actually, things happened throughout entire night. Sometimes I feel that confessing is better than hide and keep inside the heart.

One of my friends quoted, "Please don't tell the truth with lies in mixed, and please don't cast a frank in disguise." This telling the truth of human in reality, a sincere friend won't use their surface to cover their true self. Every person will grown and become more mature and independent when time pass. Don't think we have so much influence to affect people around you. In fact, those who get influenced will never grown.

University life, can be interesting, can be dull. The power of changing is inside everyone's hand. Don't let a small matter pull you down, and don't let a big matter destroy you. Foundation and degree are different, but why don't look both equally? For me, what make them difference is just the spelling. There is nothing to do on both, it only will become a useless excuse.

Family, small event might carry on with me, but any big event should not carry on without anyone of us. Sometime, many problems can just be settled or solved with just 3 words "I Love You", isn't? Learn to forgive someone, learn to feel at someone standpoint, and learn to let someone forgive themselves, any mistake in the past just let it become an experiences in future. This just can be called a growing process cycle. Without "implementation" and "maintainance", nothing can be said perfect.

Why don't we let everything sail with Noah's Ark? Let it sailed out from the darkness, forward to a brighter world.

Speak louder than action is useless,

Proof to yourself that you can make it,

Proof to others to make them change their impression on you.

Proof you've grown and matured,

Proof you're not childish.

We can't live in the past,

We should live in the moment.

Pursuing the Truth

Actually I suppose attend 2 soft skill workshops in my campus today, but when I wake up it already 8.30am and realized that I having a bad flu. So I let myself holiday for today.

Waiting my laundry done, packing my stuff, eating my brunch, listening songs, online-ing and watching anime at the same time. It seems that I already had some mentally problem.

Next week should be a busy week. Event meetings, replace classes due to going KL for week, PTPTN briefing and planning planning planning. Argh, busy life. But, I quite enjoy it, hah. Once think on coming final exam, I feel dizzy and don't know where to start it. Ish.

Later going back to hometown, is time for me to enjoy PS2 again. I can't wait to play "Persona 4" for second time. This game is so brilliant. A story about how main character build his own social links with his friends and solve a big mystery murder cases that cause by Shadow. I learn many things within, it taught me how to face reality and ourselves.

We're all trapped in a maze of relationships,

Life goes on with or without you,

Build a strong social links,

Accept the reality,

Face the other sides of ourselves,

Reveal the truth,

I swim the sea of the unconscious,

I search of your heart,

Pursuing my true self.