No regrets

It's been quite some time that this happened on me.
All the tough time we been through, I ever never blame why this would happen on me for my first time.
I even ever never regret that I made this decision since the very beginning.
Perhaps, this is my life and I am meant to take this path.

For a reason? For a purpose?

No one knows everything but us, unless I am never a part of you.
Even lack of recognition make me insecure, but I will accept the truth with no regrets.
I knew this may bring negative impacts to all sides.
Still, I won't and never give up.
I will still "play well" on the field while I still can.

Maybe it is still not the right timing.
I am always well-prepared and waiting for that very moment.

THIS IS MY STORY AND I HOPE IT BELONGS TO YOU TOO.

A random diary

To 99th Day

When feeling no longer can be expressed by words
It is either to fade or to grow

When truth no longer can be seen by naked eyes
It is either to grab or to release

When atmosphere no longer can be sensed by essences
It is either to stay or to leave

When everything started to lost its own characteristics
It's the ending of one thing
At the same time
It's the beginning of another

Perhaps I am not experienced and immature in it
Perhaps it is meant to be like this by its nature
Perhaps...
Perhaps......

Too much within the thick fog
I am lost without any clues
The words from the third party
Acceptable or deniable?

From 98th Day

Beneath my mind

This community had been polluted and become uglier as time goes on.

Why it had to be misunderstood the concept?

It is suppose to be a normal thing, just that with some extraordinary features.

Not only me having this kind of thought, I'm happy that I found someone who shared the same thought.

I just love her so much and I totally salute her.

Everyone are naturally born to be a bisexual. There always has the probability for LGBT to occur. It will slowly be reveal as we grow. What been gone through, what been experienced, all of this form a "today" me. Nothing is big deal about it, and it should not be look differently. It's the problem that everyone "assume" that relationship between guy and girl is normal. Actually there is nothing wrong with some what they called "special" relationship.

Besides, thanks to a special one that shaped my perception and definition towards relationship.
Although it's not fully mine, but it's meaningful to me.

Life will never complete and perfect without a mate that willing to walk along with us. Obviously it is unreality in this real world as the society is changes to a "new level". Love can assume to be "debtor and creditor", and it should be flexible. It is not suppose to be one side lending then another side just receiving and owing at all time. Don't be a debtor at all time, sometime should turn be a creditor too. Thus, it will be balance and last long as long "convertible and reversible" take place. The one should able go through the "recession" with the another one throughout the cycle. And, always remember the moment when having "expansion". Never blame of the factors that caused all of this, it just happened by its nature. If both are strong enough to go through all the test, a bright path will reveal.

Everyone is waiting the right time for the right one.
It is the matter that how we appreciate the chance and grab the timing.
I admitted that I had acted too fast and there is no way to turn back.
I shall grab it tight, follow the flow and steam.
At least I will not regret no matter what outcome will be, because I TRIED.

Still, it seems like I inflicted your poison and you are the only cure.
I want to be your whole-life creditor so that I can use my remaining life to repay the debts that I owed you.
"Welcome you to my world of truth, I don't wanna hide any part of me from you."
May the luck with me.

Rules and discretion

My mind is full of you
My body consists of you
My soul belongs to you
Even my heart beats for you

I knew I shouldn't like this
But myself just out of control
I also knew that this kind of period
Is always the sweetest moments

If it turns out to be a positive
Then it might be forever and long-lasting
Else just let me suffering "The Great Depression" for a short moments

I read the story about you
I also heard your story
You know what you demand
And you're aware on what you are going to do
Sometimes
I just keep thinking that
"Am I possible be yours?"

No matter how
Time is essential for any decision
It even can prove the truth hidden within
I have the confident
And I'll try my best
To make you say "You're mine"

I'll always be there
Whenever you need me
My words
Will never be "time-inconsistent"
But a "constrained discretion"
Always be flexible based on you

~I Shall Not Restrain Myself to Achieve My Target~

平凡中的不一样

不知为何

虽然短暂

你的影响却是那么重大

之前没好好去认识你

但是今天的对话

开窍了我

也让我勇于踏出那团谜

谜

我挣扎了多时

还不断欺骗自己的内心

和他人的诚恳

加上至今的零纪录

减掉多次的欺骗

乘上屡次的失败

除掉前所未有的零经验

何时

才能等到你的出现？

我也不知何时

开始厌倦了等待

这复杂的心情

谁来谅解？

或许自己的挑剔

或许过于的要求

或许……

或许……

如今

那朦胧的面纱

终于揭下了

慢慢地了解自己

也尝试去了解他人

也许是暂时最好的药方

我

选择了这条路

介入了这个另类的世界

曾尝试改变

还是失败了

现在

我不会退缩

我也不后悔

这是

因为我就是

来自那个世界的人

Stress Relieve

*Flash back* It still have 11 days to my final exam. Not yet done any preparations, all lecture notes and tutorials still "stay tidy" on the desk. I have no confidence for this exam, it is also my first time Degree exam, I'm fear I can't do well.

Today is FBF students register for their next semester timetable by according their course. My turn is 1pm and luckily my friends and I managed to "steal" the time we want. It's my first time done the registration in cybercafe (DDS). *Chuckle* We keep shouting and yelling like mad people when the registration lagged there.

Already quite a long time I didn't back to campus for any classes, for sure I become more and more lazy and tired. I think I should be alert and awake starting next week (Study Leave). This week can be said the deadline for me to have fun. After go and back from hometown, I hope I can start to do past year paper and revision.


My current situation:

"Net force" study
"Break even" feeling
"Zero acceleration" movement

More electrons I released to surroundings with protons constant, it caused frequency of effective collisions decrease and repelling between same charged ions increase, as a result study energy diminished.


Ideal situation:

"Full force" study
"Super normal" feeling
"Positive acceleration" movement

More electrons must accept from surroundings but yet still need to assort with protons to cause frequency of effective collisions and attraction between ions increase, as a result to increase and maximize study energy.