Am I still able to withstand?

Y2S3 Week 9

Assignment.. Midterm.. Assignment.. Midterm.. Event.. Society..

It seem like all of them stick around me and can't get rid.

Pressure and laziness make me always no mood for it.

No much time left!

PLEASE! Wake up and proceed!

Delay will never win the race!

Just done with Moments Exhibition 2012!

I miss it so much! Was so happy all outgoing seniors came back and support us! ='[

This late of time, why am I still awake?

Reason never change for N years.

YES! Because I like to think much, thus kinda EMO-ing, DESPERATO and FRUSTRATO...

I just had a weird feeling.

Somehow, the distance between me and people around me are getting further and further until I hardly to hear you voice, feel you heartbeat and sense your breathe.

Why? MOST probably is my problem, I think!

I'm just not good expressing and disclose myself, and yet I don't want to trouble anyone.

The BEST solution is I take it my own with the GREATEST risk.

Besides, something between had changed!

You no longer the one I knew, but are you still the one that I'm waiting for?

It might be worthless because the gap, the distance and the feeling do take into account!

I admit that I can't lie to myself and I even can't assume all of these are not problem.

Indeed, it is PROBLEMS!

What can I do?

Everything is totally out of control,

One not yet end,

Another one start to come over,

It slowly decompose me into pieces,

Decaying me part by part,

I no longer in complete and perfect state.

This is the part of me,

That you never gonna ever take away from me.

All along I tired to pretend it didn't matter,

But deep down I know when I was alone.

Don't leave me BREATHLESS.

Happy 2012 New Year!

It's the 4th day of the year 2012! I'm kinda miss the moments of countdown with Kar Chun, John, Edwin, Khong, Ally, Sheng Wang and Kah Hau.

30 December 2011
It was a CRAZY and AWESOME 3D2N Countdown Celebration although I missed the laser tag in Midvalley on 30 Dec 2011. Still, as compensation, I had to go Opera (Sunway Pyramid) on that night for last day of the year 2011. That night, I not really in drinking mood and thus, I just able to hold around 10% of Black Label. And since I'm driver for the day, so I still need to control. Luckily, John, Kar Chun and Khong enjoyed it and end up we having a chillin' session at mamak.

31 December 2011
This day was a most EXCITED and INTERESTING moment for most of the people. We having a bag-pack journey from Sunway to KL Sentral then KLCC. Due to getting wrong information of hotel from John, therefore we went through a long distance journey. From KLCC, long way to Pavilion then Sungei Wang before we reach Federal Hotel. The hotel was GREAT although the people there wasted our time for room-keeping, but the room remained the scene after WW3.

After saying goodbye to my lovely sister, we went back for countdown preparation (PS: I felt sorry to Allyson and Khong due to lead her to wrong station and end up like having a mini-marathon around Sungei Wang and Timesquare). Initial plan spoiled because La Bodega was crowded after 8pm. End up, we gathered in front of Pavilion entrance for street party! Round 1 dancing from 10-12am for countdown, and rest a while before continue Round 2 dancing from 12.30-2.30am at La Bodega. We tried a lot of cocktails (Sea Breeze, Sex on the Beach, White Christmas, etc) and each of it was FANTASTIC.

1 January 2012
After a crazy countdown, we spent a night in Federal Hotel. We had lunch in Pavilion food court before we separated to our own house. Overall, the countdown celebration was definitely UNIQUE yet FUN! Hope have more crazy stuffs in future! =)

Yesterday hanging out with some secondary school friends. Sadly, I heard that few teachers that taught me in secondary school had leave this world. I'm just outdated totally, and I was shocked when heard it. May them REST IN PEACE. Besides, I also heard that our juniors had created a short video in YouTube and get more than 10k hits within 2 days, and this had published in newspaper. Bravo the Mastermind (Cody)!

The insecure between,

Hope just be an imagination.

The deep within,

It seem to afraid something and start shaking.

The junction in front,

Decision lies within the Record of FATE.

Same as other,

I'm just a human being,

Human being that have feeling and emotion.

Contrasting from others,

I'm complicated and unique,

Complicated in term of lifestyle,

Unique in term of belief and values.

I'm FATE, FATE is ME.

Although it had recorded in the SCROLL OF LIFE that scattered around the world,

We still can adopt the ADVENTURE feeling to face everyday.

Post-Christmas

Yesterday was Christmas, and I just recovered from food poisoning.
Now having semester break, while Foundation friends still suffering their final exam.
Time flies, few more days 2011 had to say GOODBYE and 2012 will come and take over the world. Yet, Chinese New Year is getting nearer and nearer.

Just now, I saw my neighbour was making Kuih Kapek. They chit chat and laugh while they making it.
All of this make me think back the time I were helping my grandma and her jimui fold and keep Kuih Kapek into containers.
That‘s just the atmosphere of Chinese New Year.

The moments I had when I was small even it's short and few, but it always make me satisfied and happy.
When I see back the time, I knew I don't have much friends, not even best friend.
Many of friends said those together throughout primary and secondary life will be the basic needs, and those together throughout tertiary and working life will be the value-added needs.
What I can know that, my turnover is so high and rarely have the BASIC NEEDS, while VALUE-ADDED more that everything.

What should I do?
Will I feel happy with all of this?
Am I able to continue my journey like this?
Where should I continue?
When should I stop or go?
How to reach or upgrade?
Why me? =(

By now, gone had gone.

And what remained, grow older day by day.

Sooner or later, it will leave us someday.

At the end, we are still walking alone.

It's Not The End, It's Just The Beginning

Life is just a ECONOMIC CYCLE.
When reach a PEAK at that moment in your life, then pulling factors will make you fall to the TROUGH, so called RECESSION.
Once again, pushing factors will boost you to another PEAK, so called RECOVERY / EXPANSION.
Overall, your life is at upward sloping trend as we're IMPROVING towards time.
LONG RUN give the clearer image than SHORT RUN.
And yet, concern more on achieving Economics of Scale rather than MP=0.

This short semester seem fast, just a blink of eyes, now already end of Week 5.

Lot of stuffs keep on coming and I still need to move on.

I'm in Year 2 Sem 2 now, one and half year more before graduate.
I hope that I can cope and manage well in every aspects. GOD BLESS ME!

When I promise you to get you a recognition,

I will try my best to FIGHT for it to you.

No matter what's the matter,

my promise will never backward.

I'm Sorry to Myself

Dear Yesterday,

It's been a long time I didn't update here since last semester.
Bundle of assignments, midterms and presentation keep giving me stress. Sigh!

Well, i had been secretly like a person, and quite a person know about it.
I don't know whether is my action was right or not?
H keep talking about S in front a lot of people and me, I felt so awkward.
I saw something just now and I realized that S felt "piss" on this thing.
I don't know what should I do. =(

Last 2 days I met R and advices me to give up S also, and don't keep making myself suffer because it's not worth.
I am lost, confused and undecidable.
What should I do?
If I give up S, who will become my motivation?

Later 10am I going to have Macroeconomics II midterm II and now I still stuck in Neway Klang singing karaoke with friends.
Yet, Basic Econometric assignment and Emotional Intelligence action plan still waiting me since later 5pm is the due date for submission.
What can I do? Not to sleep again? Did I do wrong again?
I lost my sleep since last few days, why?
I'm getting worry about my performance in academic in this semester.
Is it due to desperation? Is it due to Im getting lazier?

I'm not the perfect, but at least I hope I can be more perfect than now.
But, no one will appreciate or "spotted" me.
Life, keep making me suffer and tired.
Is this what I deserve? Is this what suppose I must get through?

From Today, 0300

Once In The Blue Moon

I had disappeared from here for almost half a year!
Finally I'm back!
I'm sorry that throw my blog for a long time.
Just cleaned those spiderweb, etc.

Well, today is a first day when I woke and realized that I no longer staying in Harvard.
Staying in Harvard since my degree course started till yesterday.
Somehow I'm happy, but yet I'm feeling weird.
Another raining cats and dogs here, hope I can go out soon to settle my stuff.

My first year third semester Final Exam is around.
7 subjects and 1 of it already pawned.
3 out of 6 I'm worry because all are memorizing and theory papers.
I hope this semester I can do it well and maintain my score.
To all bachelors in UTAR, all the best and good luck in this Final.
Especially those going to graduate, a very good luck in your future too.

Anyway, this time I just wanna disturb my blog for while before going to brunch.
Stay tuned!

Nothing is impossible in life, only us feel it is impossible.
No matter what is going on this Earth, I will stand still and face it.
Someday, somehow, I make majority proud on me.
The answers you seeks, I will reveal for you.

~I hate this love song~